Talk:Philippines at the 1928 Summer Olympics
Philippines at the 1928 Summer Olympics is currently a Other sports good article nominee. Nominated by Arconning (talk) at 14:41, 20 September 2024 (UTC) An editor has indicated a willingness to review the article in accordance with the good article criteria. Further reviews are welcome from any editor who has not contributed significantly to this article (or nominated it), and can be added to the review page, but the decision whether or not to list the article as a good article should be left to the first reviewer. Short description: The Philippines at the Games of the XIII Olympiad in Paris |
Philippines at the 1928 Summer Olympics was nominated as a good article, but it did not meet the good article criteria at the time (September 20, 2024, reviewed version). There are suggestions below for improving the article. If you can improve it, please do; it may then be renominated. |
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GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:Philippines at the 1928 Summer Olympics/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Nominator: TheNuggeteer (talk · contribs) 12:35, 14 September 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Arconning (talk · contribs) 13:12, 17 September 2024 (UTC)
Will start a review in the next few days. Arconning (talk) 13:12, 17 September 2024 (UTC)
I'd have to quickfail as the overall prose of the article is quite far from meeting the standard (also considering the fact that it's still a start-class article that could use some more work). The article includes some puffery (use of the word popular and other words that show some sort of bias) that could be addressed quickly but some terms and wording used in the article should be changed to a more encyclopedic tone. Some statements on the article are unsourced or are wrongfully attributed to a source, so that should also be fixed before nominating again.
GA Review
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Philippines at the 1928 Summer Olympics/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Nominator: Arconning (talk · contribs) 14:41, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) 03:48, 23 September 2024 (UTC)
I'll start this over the next few days. I saw the massive improvement you've made and was very impressed, so I'm lucky that I now get to review it. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 03:48, 23 September 2024 (UTC)
Prose and content
[edit]May 17 to August 12,
1928marked their second appearance at the Summer Olympics since its
inconsistency with using plural/singular as a pronounthe city ofAmsterdam,although its recognition as the National Olympic Committee
the "its" here is implied to refer to the delegation based on sentence structure. Reword to avoid this.although the federation was open
this conjunction doesn't work with the start of the sentenceAlthough, tennis was removed
bit awkward starting this sentence with "although"The athletes that competed were sprinter Anselmo Gonzaga... the first Filipino Muslim to compete at a Games.
This information doesn't belong in the background section. It is largely duplicating what's in the lead, and the subsections. Such information should be integrated, and the only information kept should be facts such as first Filipino Muslim.Anselmo Gonzaga held the flag for the delegation
in the ceremony.after a jump-off
could you explain what this is?placed last
in the heatout of five swimmers
Suggestions
[edit]with four competitors, sprinter
→including four competitors: sprinter
The non-competitors were C. Boissevain, who served as the attaché,[9] J. Fruitt Maxwell as an official in the athletics and swimming events,[10] Costancio Alvarado as a representative,[11] and Regino Ylanan as the medical officer of the team.
my beliefs around this are a bit controversial, but there's really nothing notable / significant about who the official for the Philippines in the 1928 Olympics for the athletics and swimming events were. Including the name is just data; to the reader what matters is what the composition of the team rather than their names. If they pass the GNG then that's a different matter, and they should be redlinked. Same with other figures on the team. In the 2024 Olympics we aren't including the names of the Philippines official in the athletics and swimming events.
Sources
[edit]- [1]
- [3]
Will continue.
Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 07:52, 24 September 2024 (UTC)
- Apologies for the wait, I have inexplicably lost access to Newspapers.com and I am waiting for my application for access to come through before I continue. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 03:46, 25 September 2024 (UTC)
- @Rollinginhisgrave Will get to this in a few days! Arconning (talk) 12:16, 25 September 2024 (UTC)
- @Rollinginhisgrave I'm mostly done with your comments. I've linked the meaning of "jump-off" so that readers can go straight there, and I've decided to keep the non-competitors as they were part of the "composition" of the team, regardless that they were non-competitors. Replying to the 2024 Olympic-statement, you can see my other works such as Philippines at the 1924 Summer Olympics and Liechtenstein at the 1936 Summer Olympics, which include the officials and are GAs! Nevertheless, I believe I'm done. Let me know if you have any inquiries so that I could reply to them! Arconning (talk) 13:33, 26 September 2024 (UTC)
- @Rollinginhisgrave Will get to this in a few days! Arconning (talk) 12:16, 25 September 2024 (UTC)