Talk:Jerry Reinsdorf/GA1
GA Review
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Hello. I will be doing the GA review for this article. Here are some suggestions for improvement:
- "in the 1990s (1991, 1992, 1993, 1996, 1997 and 1998)." - this just looks weird. How about "in the 1990s (1991–1993 and 1996–1998)."?
- Try and avoid statements like "He was notable for...". If it wasn't notable, then it wouldn't be there, right? So: "He was also notable for hiring Jordan as a baseball player during his sabbatical from basketball. He is also notable for moving the Bulls from Chicago Stadium to the United Center." --> "He hired Jordan as a baseball player during his sabbatical from basketball and moved the Bulls from Chicago Stadium to the United Center."
- "A life-long baseball fan who grew up in the shadows of Ebbets Field, Reinsdorf was in the stands the day Jackie Robinson debuted for the Brooklyn Dodgers, breaking the color barrier which prevented black players from serving on Major League teams." - source?
- The "Sports ownership" section would benefit from some subheaders to break up the text, IMO.
- I started sectioning, but I could use some advice.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:37, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
Everything else looks good. The article will be on hold for seven days to allow for improvements. Nikki311 22:34, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
- I like the headers you added, but if you don't think they are needed, I won't fail it because of that. In fact, I think everything looks good, so I am going to pass it. Nikki311 19:45, 26 October 2008 (UTC)