Talk:Lalita Tademy/GA2

GA Review

Passed. IntentionallyDense (talk) 12:08, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: SafariScribe (talk · contribs) 11:08, 27 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: IntentionallyDense (talk · contribs) 19:19, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you IntentionallyDense for picking this up. Cheers!Safari Scribe^{Edits! Talk!} 04:28, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Will be reviewing shortly. Note that there is a "Harv error: link from CITEREFNew_York_Times2001 doesn't point to any citation." error that should be fixed. IntentionallyDense (talk) 19:19, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Review

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	See comments below. IntentionallyDense (talk) 03:18, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 03:18, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
2. Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 03:18, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	I spot-checked about half of the refs and found no issues. IntentionallyDense (talk) 03:18, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	2c. it contains no original research.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 03:18, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 03:18, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 12:08, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	IntentionallyDense (talk) 12:08, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 12:08, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 03:18, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 03:18, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 03:18, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	7. Overall assessment.	Sourcing is solid, prose is good, no major complaints. This one is an easy pass in my books. Great work! IntentionallyDense (talk) 12:08, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Tademy began research on her family history, which would later be turned into a book, Cane River, published in 2001, which garnered international attention. The wording here feels a bit awkward, could you rephrase it a bit. IntentionallyDense (talk) 03:18, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Done. Safari Scribe^{Edits! Talk!} 04:31, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
On graduating as a National Merit Scholar, she started her honors program at Howard University, Washington D.C. After two years, she transferred to the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), to complete her education. Is "On graduating" dramatically correct? I'm not sure myself and it doesn't sound quite right. IntentionallyDense (talk) 04:29, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I changed it to "upon". Safari Scribe^{Edits! Talk!} 07:52, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Tademy and her siblings grew up hearing stories about their grandmother Emily, also known as "Tite", from their mother. In 1978, Tademy traveled with her father to Louisiana, a trip they usually took every summer. It was to meet her maternal cousin, Gurtie Fredieu, who was about 73 years old. Tademy resides in Northern California with her husband, Barry Williams. This paragraph kind of jumps all over the place. Is there any way this could be changed to flow a bit better? IntentionallyDense (talk) 04:29, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Paraphrased, and removed In 1978, Tademy traveled with her father to Louisiana, a trip they usually took every summer. It was to meet her maternal cousin, Gurtie Fredieu, who was about 73 years old. Safari Scribe^{Edits! Talk!} 08:02, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
After earning her MBA What does MBA stand for? IntentionallyDense (talk) 04:29, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Master of Business Administration., however, I've removed it as burden. Safari Scribe^{Edits! Talk!} 07:56, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The book received international reviews and criticism. You say this but then only write about the positive things said about her book. What were the criticisms? IntentionallyDense (talk) 04:29, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
That should have been ...received positive reviews from critics. Welp, I have removed it to avoid confusion. Safari Scribe^{Edits! Talk!} 08:06, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you that makes more sense! IntentionallyDense (talk) 12:05, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.