Talk:Matthew Webb/GA2

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: It is a wonderful world (talk · contribs) 22:33, 30 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) 07:08, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Saving my spot for when you're ready for me to review. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 07:08, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) I have finished addressing points. It's ready to review! It is a wonderful world (talk) 09:47, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Prose and content

latter feat refer to this as an act for neutrality
but rather as a medical
Generally avoid one paragraph long sections, you can just remove the subheading "Training on the Conway"
Hong Kong again what is "again" doing here?
link Prize money to purse
his ~~daring~~ attempted rescue
doubted Webb would swim the channel attempt or succeed?
paddled is there a reason you refer to Boyton's swimming as "paddling"?
journey Dover to Ramsgate journey from
weather, and remove comma, WP:CINS
~~Preparations and~~ first attempt
captain Pittock capitalise captain for title
swim—and John Graham Chambers why the dash?
at ~~a rate of~~ 25 strokes per minute
but did not deter him after he had a shot of brandy but he continued after; more neutral
~~the~~ Toms
August 25 dmy
and ~~later~~ slept in the Hotel
Webb had a temperature of 38 °C add "after his swim" to the start, as this is a new section about reception; signposting
According to Saloon, replace "salon"
People in Wellington expected his arrival, so cut
where people welcomed him could you explain what this means?
Lord Mayor of London links to a disambiguation page (you can see these by going into preferences and tick "Display links to disambiguation pages in orange")
, then returned to Dover where he and Toms reunited with the crew for dinner cut
Webb received gifts, including gold cuff links and collar studs, a gold watch, a North London Swimming Club gold cross, a solitaire, a silver cup and a jewelled tie pin. too many gifts listed. Can cut some out.
The autopsy revealed that the cut occurred after his death left behind by an earlier draft
and blamed the railway companies blamed for the death or criticised them
In 1909 a postcard produced by a photography firm in Dawley depicted a pig on a wall watching Webb's post-channel procession go by. indicate why this is notable / worth mentioning

Suggestions

diving underwater and cutting it with a knife cutting it free
Link knots
£2,424 (about £290,000 today) MOS:DATED, instead of using a source's inflation calculation, you can use template:inflation. Same with £100, $1,000 and $4,000
He planned to start on the east flood tide and catch the current as it turned west,[51] and chose the lugger boat Ann for support—which was captained by George Toms. repetition of "and" reads awkwardly. Why do you use a dash between support and which?
ten am MOS:TIME use a template:nbsp in between, and use figures rather than words for ten.

Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 12:15, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]