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Talk:Otokonoko Zuma/GA1

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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Mujinga (talk · contribs) 19:16, 31 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Review

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Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
  • earwig copvio check is 0% (but then all sources are in japanese)
  • pic has an adequate free use rationale and is relevant
  • sources appear reliable and article is neutral and stable, no original research

Comments on prose

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  • "Premise" could be titled synopsis or plot, then split out from that the themes into its own section. then the references could be in themes - what do you think? I can see you have several GAs in this area already
  • Chapter 1–14 = Chapters 1-14
  • "Nico Nico News described him as attractive and full of what makes otokonoko characters charming, with the contrast between his gender and his appearance,[10] and NLab appreciated how characters respect Yuki's gender and treat him as a man regardless of his femininity and how he is the wife.[3]" - too many "and"s, suggest breaking sentence up
  • What is NLab for those who don't know? A magazine, a website?
  • Shogakukan is a company so "its" not "their"
  • " volumes in 2017–2020" suggest "volumes between 2017 and 2020."

Overall

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Overall this article seems pretty good but lacking some structure per Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style/Anime_and_manga and as opposed to other manga good articles such as Classmates (manga), Samurai Champloo and Cobra (manga). For example, these all have a section on characters which would be very useful here since the volume synopses are otherwise quite confusing for me eg i wondered who is Kido on first mention. Perhaps a theme section would be helpful as mentioned above.

That's all I got on a first sweep. I'll put the review on hold Mujinga (talk) 19:35, 31 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.