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Talk:Sober (Inna song)/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 16:05, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Good to meet again, I'll review this soon --Kyle Peake (talk) 16:05, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

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  • Use bullet points instead for any hlist
  • Streaming is not cited anywhere in the body; the ref only links to iTunes Stores, so either add another ref to back this up or remove the streaming info.
Streaming is a more and more relevant format nowadays, so I think it should definitely be mentioned here. The reference links to Apple Music where each release can also be simply streamed. I think this suffices. Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:00, 31 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "solely handled by Walcher under" → "solely handled by Walcher, under"
  • "Lyrically, it discusses a lonely person's wish" → "Lyrically, the former discusses a lonely person wishing"
  • "The former was directed" → "The first video was directed" since there is no former
  • "their artists in private settings" → "their artists in private home settings" to give further context but not overkill either

Background and composition

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  • "solely handled by Walcher under" → "solely handled by Walcher, under"
  • Either add a citation that verifies streaming release for both here and Release history, or remove that info.
see comment above. Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:00, 31 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Musically, "Sober" utilizes a" → "Musically, the track utilizes a"
  • "its predecessor, "Not My Baby" (2020)" → ""its predecessor, "Not My Baby", from earlier that year"
  • "can be heard, a "powerful" yet" → "can be heard, as well as a "powerful" yet"
  • "which prominently utilizes" → "that prominently utilizes"
  • "is used throughout" → "is used throughout the track" to specify that it's not throughout the chops
  • "and to personally connect with" → "and personally connect with"
  • "Inna sings "Is it" → "Inna sings, "Is it"
  • "consists of the lines "I just" → "consists of the lines, "I just"

Critical reception

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  • "Upon release, "Sober" was received with positive reviews by" → ""Sober" was met with positive reviews from"
  • "While Modestas Mankus of" → "Modestas Mankus of"
  • "CelebMix's Jonathan Currinn also praised" → "while CelebMix's Jonathan Currinn also praised" since this is correct ordering for usage of "while"
  • "lyrical message which he tought fitted" → "lyrical message, which he thought fitted"
  • "delivery gave it a sense" → "delivery gave the song a sense"
  • Italicise MuuMuse
  • "deemed "Sober" a "surefire smash" and" → "deemed it a "surefire smash" and"
  • "whilst further praising its" → "whilst further praising the"

Music videos

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  • "An accompanying music video for "Sober" was" → "An accompanying music video was"
  • "and Loops Production as the producers" → "and Loops Production received credit as the producers" for grammar fixes
  • "The music video was part of" → "The visual was part of"
  • "whose scope was to present their artists" → "which had the scope of presenting the label's music artists"
  • "the shoot as being unconventional since it" → "the shooting as being unconventional, since it"
  • "bath, bed and a chair" → "bath, bed, and a chair"
  • "CelebMix's Currinn deemed Inna's appearance" → "Currinn deemed Inna's appearance"
  • "to the one in her 2011" → "to the one for her 2011"
  • "was also released 21 May 2020, and was edited" → "was released on 21 May 2020 and had been edited"

Credits and personnel

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  • Sure you can't add this?
There are not so many credits either way, and all have already been mentioned in the article's body. I don't think this section would be relevant here. Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:08, 31 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Track listing

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  • Good

Release history

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  • Good, apart from the streaming issue I have already explained
See my comment above. Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:08, 31 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

References

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  • Use Fix dead links to archive all of these
  • Copyvio score is at 30.1%; that's great
  • Remove "on iTunes" from the titles on ref 2; but keep the publisher the same for all, though add region in brackets; example: iTunes Store (GB)
  • MOS:QWQ issues in the titles of refs 4 and 7
  • Ref 6 is missing MuuMuse for the work/website parameter
  • Remove wikilink to YouTube on ref 9

Final comments and verdict

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 On hold for now, changes should not be too hard to fix. --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:12, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Kyle Peake: Thank you very much for the review, I have addressed the comments apart from where I commented. Greets;
 Pass! --Kyle Peake (talk) 07:46, 31 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]