Talk:Zebedee Nungak/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Ornithoptera (talk · contribs) 20:50, 1 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: ThaesOfereode (talk · contribs) 15:22, 8 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Ornithoptera. Great article you have here. A couple of fixes and a spot check for the citations and we should have an easy pass. Please see the review below.

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	See below for prose issues
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	"Bibliography" section should be renamed to "Publications" if a full catalog, "Selected works" if not
2. Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	Looks good here, but you have a {{cite journal}} error that needs rectifying.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Source review to follow
	2c. it contains no original research.	Ut supra
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	Ut supra
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	Tags are good. Recommend adding more images though. While not strictly mandatory, they are strongly encouraged. Perhaps a picture of the schools. Inuit culture has an images you might find useful.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Ut supra
	7. Overall assessment.	Looks good. Minor prose fixes, a few other fixes and recommendations. Will come back for a source review later.

Prose issues:

You can do away with the source in the lede per MOS:LEDECITE.
, Nungak musing that it was [...] – Recommend changing the comma here to a semi-colon and changing musing to mused.
, later in life, he had to have a lawyer [...] – Semi-colon (or period; either are appropriate) before later.
He, along with two other children, Peter Ittinuar and Eric Tagoona, to finish high school in the south of Canada. – Not a complete sentence.
Recommend linking first instance of judo.
The ramifications would come [...] → Ramifications came [...] – per WP:INTOTHEWOULDS
Soft recommend to just link snow knife as a pipe with pana. If you insist on keeping it, it needs more than a comma; recommend [...] using a pana, a kind of snow knife. or [...] using a pana ('snow knife'). Also probably a good idea to link bile or, if it exists, something related to the bile sack of seals.
The Canadian government would later [...] – WP:INTOTHEWOULDS
In 2009, a film detailing their experiences The Experimental Eskimos was made by filmmaker Barry Greenwald. – Need either commas or dashes around the title of the film
translator and interpreter, and returned to his home [...] – No comma.
He also worked as an editor for Tukisinaqtuk "Message", [...] → He also worked as an editor for Tukisinaqtuk ('[The] Message'), [...]
Link Québec separatism.
Link Saputik and Inuit Committee on National Issues.
Link Canadian constitution.
Between 1995 and 1998 he was [...] – Comma after 1998.
vice-president – Is this a Canadian English convention? If not, remove hyphen and insert a space.
Link Inuit languages.
revitalization – Does Canadian English use the -isation spelling?
One of the activities that he would engage in is by hosting games of Uvangaqqaaq, "me first", he described himself as "the Alex Trebek of the North". → One of the activities that he has engaged in is hosting games of Uvangaqqaaq ('Me First'), he described himself as "the Alex Trebek of the North". – Is Uvangaqqaaq a game show? If so, explain that.
of which he co-directed. – Remove "of".
Link phrase "riding of Abitibi" rather than just "Abitibi". Kind of an Easter egg otherwise. Recommend also for "seat of Duplessis", but this is less blatant so feel free to push back.
Nungak would lose the race → Nungak lost the race – WP:INTOTHEWOULDS
Comma after "Parti Québécois".
Link Liberal Party of Canada and Quebec Liberal Party.
by severing their ties with the other Inuit in Canada, and subsequently – No comma
Nungak retorted, stating: “[well], it may be true – Remove , stating. Is there a compelling reason to keep [well]? Make sure the quote is not curly as per MOS:CQ.
Link Brussels and Geneva.
Recommend rephrasing by Premier of Quebec Philippe Couillard to avoid a WP:SEAOFBLUE issue. Same with the Lieutenant Governor of Quebec J. Michel Doyon.
Link Avataq Cultural Institute.
Nungak can play the accordion. – Soft recommend changing to Nungak plays the accordion., since presumably he does play the accordion. Also, link accordion.
Recommend running the ISBNs from his books and running them through this site to integrate them into Wikipedia's citation formats.