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Template:Did you know nominations/Elly Mayday

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 22:53, 19 March 2019 (UTC)

Elly Mayday

[edit]
Elly Mayday in A Perfect 14
Elly Mayday in A Perfect 14
  • Reviewed: Dopey (podcast)
  • Comment: She died the day after I started writing this article.

Moved to mainspace by GRuban (talk). Self-nominated at 15:24, 6 March 2019 (UTC).

  • l - Suggestion looks cool. Hook is fine, and interesting, no copyvio found. Article is well sourced. I'd probably move the image in the article further up the page. If free, consider adding to this nomination! QPQ done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 11:39, 11 March 2019 (UTC)
  • Hi, I came by to promote this, but I don't see anything about two years in the article. The hook wording also strikes me as being a little strident. I think you have a better hook in the details of her modeling despite the effects of the cancer. Yoninah (talk) 01:58, 19 March 2019 (UTC)
  • I simply went on this reference says "She had started experiencing symptoms at 23, but doctors didn't even consider cancer at the time because of her age. Instead they told her to lose weight and tone her core.", and then she was later diagnosed at 25, and thus the two years. However, I'd be happy to see a different hook, or remove the time from the original hook. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 09:19, 19 March 2019 (UTC)
  • Yup, what Lee said. I made the diagnosis at age 25 more explicit in the article. Let me propose this alternative hook as well, pick whichever you prefer, as you may imagine I've been staring at the article so long that the words are beginning to dance the rhumba in front of me, so I will trust your judgment among the two. I will fully claim strident, though; this killed her, so I can't see toning it down much.
  • ALT1: ... that when Elly Mayday (pictured) was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, she not only continued to model, but appeared in pictorials with a bald head from chemotherapy and surgery scars? Source: [3] --GRuban (talk) 16:11, 19 March 2019 (UTC)
  • Thank you for the alt, GRuban. By "strident" I meant the assertion at the end of the hook that doctors blamed her weight for two years. It feels like it's making a statement about doctors not believing women—which might be true, but it's not neutral. And Lee Vilenski, I'm talking about the text in the article, not in the source. It's also rather vague in the source; it could have been 1 1/2 years that she suffered. I think ALT1 is a lot hookier. Lee, could you review that? Yoninah (talk) 19:32, 19 March 2019 (UTC)
  • ALT1 looks a lot stronger. It's well attributed in the source given. Is pictorials the right word for this? Aren't they generally just emotional pieces? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 20:01, 19 March 2019 (UTC)
whoops, my mistake Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talkcontribs) 20:49, 19 March 2019 (UTC)