User talk:Socbluff
| This user is a student editor in Howard_University/Sociology_of_Food_and_Agriculture_(Fall_2018) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Socbluff, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:06, 27 August 2018 (UTC)
Saqera's Peer Review
[edit]There is no lead for this article but it also looks as if Lundyn is creating this article from scratch. Once you continue to piece together the framework, a lead would be very beneficial! You pulled a lot of good information from your source. There were certain words that could be taken out, for example, "the late Liberty Hyde...". By taking out the word late you could add a link to his name and users would be able to learn more about his life and death that way. Parts of the article sounded more like a summary rather than an encyclopedia. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Peaceofmind18.19 (talk • contribs) 16:37, 9 October 2018 (UTC)
Notes
[edit]Hi, here are my notes:
- When citing something that has many pages, such as a book, make sure that you specify which page is being cited. You can use the RP template for this.
- You use a lot of sources that are written by Lyon or organizations related to him. There's nothing wrong with using primary sources, but it doesn't really show a good depth of coverage and won't really be able to show non-primary coverage from authorities and scholars.
- Be careful of how you write - there are some terms that could be seen as persuasive or leading, specifically the term "thus". The issue with this is that it's similar to "if... then..." type of reasoning and can make the point come across as your own original research as opposed to summarizing the source - even if this isn't the case.
- Be a little careful about covering topics that aren't specifically about civic agriculture as a general term. I saw that you had some information about Thomas Lyson and the Thomas Lyson & Lyson Center for Civic Agriculture and Food Systems, which can be seen as a little too general for this page. This is something that probably should be in its own article, maybe a main article about Lyson that covers the center?
I hope this helps! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:30, 27 November 2018 (UTC)