User talk:Soumyabanna/sandbox

Outstanding contribution! Only minor revisions are needed following the comments below by student reviewers. Great work! --Amille75 (talk) 06:03, 7 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Great job on your contribution! Here are some additional comments:

1. I thought the first paragraph was a great introduction. You did a good job of setting up what will be discussed throughout the rest of your article.

2. Right now, it looks like you organized your article based off of the sources you used. To me, it comes across as if you are simply summarizing the key points of each of the articles you found. I think you could strengthen your article by organizing it more by topic and having the different topics flow more smoothly.

3. I liked how you included a lot of different details on different aspects of the taxon and crop expansion.

4. The third sentence of the first paragraph is a bit of a run-on sentence.

5. I would also suggest further tying in each paragraph to the main focus of how your taxon can be used for crop improvement. As of now, I, as the reader, am confused on how the various topics, such as aluminum toxicity, nitrogen levels, resistance, etc., are connected to each other and the main focus.

Hope this helps!

Comments (Written by Marc Ritter)

1. Overall a very clear entry. I liked how the different paragraphs segmented the different cultivation methods that affected the plant.

2. I only found one grammatical mistake. In the first paragraph, you put two periods after each other. Deleting one of the periods is all you have to do to fix this!

3. I like how the first paragraph almost served as an outline of what the plant species was known for. It gives the reader a bit more background knowledge on the subject.

4. The five distinct references all seem to be from scientific journals, which adds to the credibility of your Wikipedia entry. Good job!

5. The italicization was used correctly, although there were some instances in the third and fourth paragraphs where I would use the italicized name a little more.

6. Try tying in the main points from each article to the first paragraph relaying your theme of crop improvement. You don't want your ideas to seem unrelated from each other and you want to keep everything connected at the same time.

Abby Schneller's Comments:

Your writing is very fluid and engaging while still being factual and objective, so great job with that. When you are talking about heat stress, consider mentioning how that is especially important in the context of our current state of global warming. In your third paragraph, you say 'cab' and then later 'scab,' I'm not sure which is right but one of them should be edited, and also make sure to define what you mean by the cab/scab infection. In your fourth paragraph, combine the second and third sentences into one so it is more fluid. Your fourth paragraph is good but should focus more on how the plant has shown aluminum resistance and the research or support for that.