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Wikipedia:Peer review/Abismo Negro/archive1

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm going on vacation and thus can't respond to more comments. MPJ-DK (talk) 14:06, 30 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]


This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've been working on expanding it and getting the best possible sources in the hopes of making it the first Lucha Libre article to reach GA status and who knows, maybe even FA status one day. I'm hoping people will give me constructive feedback to improve the article and I will listen to everything and anything. Since English isn't my primary language any copyedit review comments would be greatly appreciated, but all comments are welcome.

Thanks in advance, MPJ-DK (talk) 05:09, 18 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've addressed the following automated review comments
  • Person data
  • Contractions
I've yet to work on the lead, but I'm on it now, also the fact that "Abismo Negro" is both the article title and a headline is unavoidable. MPJ-DK (talk) 09:24, 27 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Comments from Nikki
  • Use endashes (–) between dates instead of dashes (-). For more, see WP:DASH.
  • In the first paragraph under "Professional wrestling career". I'd either wikilink gimmick or change it to character.
  • It might make the first sentence under "Winners" make more sense if it was mentioned that Pena was CMLL's head booker.
  • "made him visibly very striking" - sounds like original research or POV
  • I didn't actually come up with the expression on my own, it was from a wrestling magazine that did a tribute article on him. I added the source to prevent any misunderstandings over the use of the term. MPJ-DK (talk) 09:24, 27 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the "Outside the ring" section, all the sentences start with his name. Mixing it up would make it sound better.

I also did some minor copyediting. Nikki311 23:35, 19 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Review by NiciVampireHeart

-- ♥NiciVampireHeart08:07, 26 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]