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Wikipedia:Peer review/Gao Qifeng/archive1

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I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to take this article to FAC, and I'm quite a bit rusty. If anyone is familiar with this era in Chinese history, or can tweak the translations, I would also appreciate that.

Thanks,  — Chris Woodrich (talk) 23:05, 1 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

SC

I'm neither familiar with any era of Chinese history, nor able to help with translations, but:

  • honourary is more normally spelled as honorary
  • "Boxiang died when Gao in 1895": something's gone a bit awry there
  • "with Fei Pu Sketching on his seal": I think you may need to explain this a little
  • "nihonga artists": Maybe a brief (one-line) explanation of what nihonga is
  • "Teaching art, Gao believed, would allow the transmission of better understandings of ethics and social conditions" could be slightly improved slightly as: "Teaching art, Gao believed, would allow the transmission of a better understanding of ethics and social conditions".
  • "2,000 yuan (equivalent to ¥126,000,000 in 2019)": £13.5 million for expenses??!
  • There are a couple of points where you could use "he" instead of "Gao"

Done down to the end of his biography: I'll do the other half shortly. - SchroCat (talk) 08:35, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

ps. I've added this review to Template:FAC peer review sidebar, which is a useful little place to flag up future FAC articles - I've got a copy on my talk page, and it's good to pick up on any interesting ones that come up. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 09:20, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "creating a new "national painting" suited": As this stands, it reads as if they are going to paint a picture for the nation. Would " creating a new "national painting" style suited" be better?
  • Relationship with Zhang Kunyi: are there any dates we can put to this? (As it's just after his wife leaving him, there are obvious questions that arise, and a date may clarify matters)
  • I'm only seeing that the dedications were the late 1920s, and then her moving in with him would have been 1929/1930. Our article on her has the uncited claim that she started to learn from him when she was thirteen, which a) I haven't found anything supporting this claim, and b) he would have been been painting lampshades at that point, and definitely not a virtuoso attracting students. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 17:15, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • "several paintings to Zhang" 'to her' would work here
  • "Gao Qifeng had many similarities with Gao Jianfu and Chen Shuren": I think you need to clarify where the similarities are – I presume painting style, but it's not clear
  • "However, they also had": "However" should only be at the beginning of a sentence rarely and never at the start of a paragraph
  • US$993, USD 511 and USD 159 – you need to make consistent whether symbol or letter is used, and whether to have a space or not
  • "Gao favoured vigorous yet delicate brushwork": I think that as there is opinion in there, we need to say whose it is

That's my lot. Ping me when you go to FAC and I'll go over it again and see what else I can pick up. Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 13:11, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]