Wikipedia:Peer review/S.S. Lazio/archive1

S.S. Lazio

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to improve it.

Thanks, Andrea 93 (msg) 08:10, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)

• The lead could be bulked up a bit - an article of this length could easily withstand a lead of twice the size, keep it to three or four paragraphs but make the paras larger.

I'm sorry, but I have not understand this point... --Andrea 93 (msg) 16:48, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

• WP:HEAD suggests "Current Squad" should be "Current squad".

Done --Andrea 93 (msg) 16:44, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

• The prose needs work - lots of single (or few) sentence paragraphs - merge them to improve the way it looks and reads. Check out other football featured articles for good examples.

Probably I'm not the ideal person to do this work. --Andrea 93 (msg) 16:44, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

• Seems to use US English (e.g. organize instead of organise) when probably British English would make more sense (but that's not critical).

I'm sorry, but I have not understand also this point... --Andrea 93 (msg) 16:44, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

• More references are essential. I took Ipswich Town F.C. to FA and had a lot less to talk about than there would be for Lazio, but I still had around 100 citations.

I'm working on... --Andrea 93 (msg) 07:14, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

• Season delimiters should be en-dash instead of hyphen (e.g. 1900–01 instead of 1900-01).

Done --Andrea 93 (msg) 07:12, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

• Citations should be placed per WP:CITE, i.e. in general immediately after punctation if possible.

Done --Andrea 93 (msg) 06:34, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

• "May 16th, 1902" - see WP:DATE for correct formatting.

Done --Andrea 93 (msg) 21:36, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

• "Goran Pandev, one of the most important Lazio players today." - firstly it's a sentence fragment so remove the full stop. Secondly, who says he's one of the "most important" players? POV.

Done --Andrea 93 (msg) 21:31, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

• What makes the players in the notable players list notable? POV.

Done --Andrea 93 (msg) 21:25, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

• Refs 8 and 9 appear identical so use ref name.

Done --Andrea 93 (msg) 21:23, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

That's a start for you. I would urge you to look at WP:FOOTBALL's list of feature club articles for suggestions on how to take this further. All the best. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:08, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Thank you very much. I will give my best. --Andrea 93 (msg) 21:18, 10 June 2008 (UTC)